My Personal Egypt

Well, in that last blog, which took a while to get through with the explanation of the Egypt metaphor, I mentioned we need to share our Egypt. I have told bits and pieces of it before to explain who I am (because definitely your past makes you who you are today). So I hardly ever post two blogs at the same time, here is my personal Egypt. I share this not out of guilt, but more shame. In fact, it may not be appropriate for kids under 13... that kind of PG-13 rating at the beginning. But I want to share this because I want this to be my biggest weapon against Satan, so he won't use it as a tool to hold me back in the past (as I stated in the previous blog).

Some of you know that I am a 50-something single male. And years ago, there was the movie, "40 Year Old Virgin". I was that, even to this day. Technically.

But when I was in my mid-twenties, I was doing okay. I met a cute girl at church, who I was serving in the Junior High ministry with. I liked her. And I thought she liked me. We went out a couple of times. I thought she would be "the one". But, little did I know, she was dating her BOSS! And they eventually got married. She didn't even have to change her name! I mean, she married a guy with the same last name! And those that have heard this story, that's when I said "two Wongs don't make it right"!

I could easily blame her and the other guy for that terrible chapter in my life! Something that I was an innocent party to. Often, that could be a part of your Egypt story: someone dumped you, cheated on you, abused you, or simply left you.

It devastated me to the point I didn't even date anybody after that for TEN years! Yeah, the prime of my life, wasted because I didn't want to feel rejection like I had.

But then there's more to the story. The part that gets... ashamed. Even as a Christian, I did it.

Well, working in health care, I have to deal with naked bodies. And I handle myself professionally when working with patients. But, I easily got into pornography. All I had to do is see a beautiful woman on the cover of a Playboy, and that was it. I was hooked. I love beautiful women! After all, they are God's creation! Right?

The problem was I was worshipping God's creation over God, the Creator! I was lusting over these beautiful women! And to make it even more disgusting, I got into the sex toys and the blow-up sex dolls. It was my way of dealing with the pain of dealing with a real woman!

Even in those Clinton years, Chief Surgeon General Joycelyn Elders said masturbation was a good way to avoid sexually transmitted diseases! And this was when AIDS and HIV was coming out. It seemed like the safer route of dealing with these issues than dealing with a real woman!

But in my heart of hearts, I felt the shame. the guilt. The pain. The loneliness. It wasn't right. But being the insecure introverted nerd I was, that was my reality!

So, that's my personal Egypt. Out in the open. On the Internet, no less.

But now I have nothing to hide! God has forgiven me of my past and now that I have unloaded the guilt baggage off of me, I am set free!

God is love. He always was. And He still is! If you need that kind of love and forgiveness, come to Him now in prayer: "Holy Father God, forgive me for I am a sinner. Please take my past and make me new, through the precious blood of Jesus Christ, who died on the Cross for ALL of my sins. Please cleanse me of my unrighteousness in my past. Make my future renewed in Your Almighty Love and Grace. In Jesus' name I pray, Amen!"

If you just prayed that prayer, you are now a Child of God! You are forgiven and free from your past. Lay it ALL down at the feet of Jesus!

Blessings,
Garret